# 9

Medusa.
From the neck up.

# 8

Too much artificial lighting.

# 7

Birthdays.

# 6

Shirtless bros sprinting down crowded narrow walkways and switchbacks from Angel's Landing in Zion National Park.

Look at your life.
Look at your choices.

# 5

My boss.

# 4

Say this sentence outloud:

"Dont even get me started on that asshole, cuz that's a whole nother story."

Reading it outloud, it probably sounds correct and maybe even something similar to a sentence you yourself have said before.
But you may (i hope) have found something disturbing about the sentence, just by looking at it.
Ladies and Gentleman (and trans-ladies and trans-gentleman)... "nother" is NOT a word in the English language.

What happens here is that us English speaking, excuse me.. "AMERICAN speaking", folks like to shorten and mess up language. So here, we are taking the word "another" and shoving WHOLE in the middle of it, to serve our own malicious purposes, namely to furhter distance ourselves from the tyranny of England and their terrible taxes and ridiculous royalty....

....but thats a whole nother story.

# 3

Things with less than two legs or more than four. *

Snakes and spiders are the obvious. But the list really goes on and on.

*The one exception - I have, in fact, met a few people who would technically fall under the "less than two legs" category, and they were swell enough. Swell enough to make them exceptions to this rule...which RARELY happens. Mostly because my life could basically be summed up to: "The exception to the rule" (at least, that's what I've been called by several different people in my life)

# 2

Gay Republicans.

This one really baffles me. I can understand gay people who are convervative on certain issues... but to be a fool blown openly gay strict republican.... HUGE oxymoron. Get your ass all the way out of the closet and make some progress.

# 1

Parking in any area that one would describe as "downtown".